Your pain is the breaking of the shell that encloses

your understanding.

Even as the stone of the fruit must break, that its

heart may stand in the sun, so must you know pain.

And could you keep your heart in wonder at the

daily miracles of your life, your pain would not seem

less wondrous than your joy;

And you would accept the seasons of your heart,

even as you have always accepted the seasons that

pass over your fields.

And you would watch with serenity through the

winters of your grief.

Much of your pain is self-chosen.

It is the bitter potion by which the physician within

you heals your sick self.

Therefore trust the physician, and drink his remedy

in silence and tranquility:

For his hand, though heavy and hard, is guided by

the tender hand of the Unseen,

And the cup he brings, though it burn your lips, has

been fashioned of the clay which the Potter has

moistened with His own sacred tears.

~~Khalil Gibran

I’ve been going through some growing pain these past couple of month, and was seeking some kind of peace. Poetry has always been one of my mental get away, and I am a HUGE fan of Khalil Gibran!! Granted, I LOVE all of his poems, but this one in particular invoked something in me and continues every time I read it. I can personally say that majority of the hardship and difficulties I have faced in my life have been in some way or another self inflicted and based on my choices. Which isn’t a bad thing, depending on how you look at it. Am sure you have heard the saying that, “without the hard times, we would never enjoy that good times”.  I always try to keep that in mind, when am going through something difficult…….Its not always easy, but it helps and I tend to come out of situations  a changed person; learning something new. (good or bad) I recently got this job as a waitress at a popular restaurant in the area I am temporally  living in. And I’ve experienced some OK and some really bad days at work ( I want you to notice that I typed OK and not good, because I honestly haven’t had a good day yet) Granted this is my third week working and am still learning how to do things. I just feel like I should be getting the hang of things by now, and tragically am not. Finding the silver lining in this situation, every time I work, I leave learning a new life lesson.  I’ve come to certain conclusions.

1. I am a terrible waiter! (at least it seems like it at the moment, because I keep messing up on trivial things)

2. I need to work on my people skill, because for some reason I am not getting along with all my co-workers. Or maybe…..correction starting today I will official stop caring……They all can go to bloody hell!

3. I cant take things personal, even if it is. I never really paid any attention to the saying that peoples opinions about you is not important and shouldn’t alter how you view yourself.

4. Am secretly dramatic. I tend to make situation 10 times worse then they really are and physic  myself out, which makes situation worse then better.

5. Leave your job bull shit at your job. Once I walk out of that restaurant, I let everything go and do not dwell on any problems regarding work.

Even though I completely loth my job right now, am happy that I am learning these lessons and many more now( instead of later). So am going to tough it out until I achieve perfection or I fuck up so bad they fire. Because there are still many lessons I need to learn. And I do believe that all of these are truly my growing pains, while I transition into women-hood. So, ill keep you posted on how things will go :/