Growing Pains

Your pain is the breaking of the shell that encloses

your understanding.

Even as the stone of the fruit must break, that its

heart may stand in the sun, so must you know pain.

And could you keep your heart in wonder at the

daily miracles of your life, your pain would not seem

less wondrous than your joy;

And you would accept the seasons of your heart,

even as you have always accepted the seasons that

pass over your fields.

And you would watch with serenity through the

winters of your grief.

Much of your pain is self-chosen.

It is the bitter potion by which the physician within

you heals your sick self.

Therefore trust the physician, and drink his remedy

in silence and tranquility:

For his hand, though heavy and hard, is guided by

the tender hand of the Unseen,

And the cup he brings, though it burn your lips, has

been fashioned of the clay which the Potter has

moistened with His own sacred tears.

~~Khalil Gibran

I’ve been going through some growing pain these past couple of month, and was seeking some kind of peace. Poetry has always been one of my mental get away, and I am a HUGE fan of Khalil Gibran!! Granted, I LOVE all of his poems, but this one in particular invoked something in me and continues every time I read it. I can personally say that majority of the hardship and difficulties I have faced in my life have been in some way or another self inflicted and based on my choices. Which isn’t a bad thing, depending on how you look at it. Am sure you have heard the saying that, “without the hard times, we would never enjoy that good times”.  I always try to keep that in mind, when am going through something difficult…….Its not always easy, but it helps and I tend to come out of situations  a changed person; learning something new. (good or bad) I recently got this job as a waitress at a popular restaurant in the area I am temporally  living in. And I’ve experienced some OK and some really bad days at work ( I want you to notice that I typed OK and not good, because I honestly haven’t had a good day yet) Granted this is my third week working and am still learning how to do things. I just feel like I should be getting the hang of things by now, and tragically am not. Finding the silver lining in this situation, every time I work, I leave learning a new life lesson.  I’ve come to certain conclusions.

1. I am a terrible waiter! (at least it seems like it at the moment, because I keep messing up on trivial things)

2. I need to work on my people skill, because for some reason I am not getting along with all my co-workers. Or maybe…..correction starting today I will official stop caring……They all can go to bloody hell!

3. I cant take things personal, even if it is. I never really paid any attention to the saying that peoples opinions about you is not important and shouldn’t alter how you view yourself.

4. Am secretly dramatic. I tend to make situation 10 times worse then they really are and physic  myself out, which makes situation worse then better.

5. Leave your job bull shit at your job. Once I walk out of that restaurant, I let everything go and do not dwell on any problems regarding work.

Even though I completely loth my job right now, am happy that I am learning these lessons and many more now( instead of later). So am going to tough it out until I achieve perfection or I fuck up so bad they fire. Because there are still many lessons I need to learn. And I do believe that all of these are truly my growing pains, while I transition into women-hood. So, ill keep you posted on how things will go :/

Long time no SEE O__O

Sorry for my absence….if anyone is reading this lol. I’ve experienced some interesting events theses past days….weeks…..month…Life is funny like that, you will experience the dry spell of boredom, where you complain and vent. And then a single event will happen which completely alter your life, or vis-verse. (depending on the type of person you are) With everything has happened to me, there are two things I would like to share with who ever is reading this.. :/

I’ve increased my reading in per-paring for Law school or whatever I plan to do after undergrad. While reading one book  I stumbled upon this statement which reflects every thing  I have learned from one of my experiences. For some reason the author alludes me (am sorry, even thou I seriously doubt whom ever that person is will be reading this). Anyways, he/she stated that, “words are interpreted, depending on the mentality of the audience or individual and the mood they are in”. While reading the book, this statement did not hold much value, it just sounded clever and profound. Like something you would use when you wanted  to sound intelligent; but  truthfully  you  do not know what to say. Its not until I was caught in the middle of an verbal altercation and my perceptive was not being understood, when this statement hit me. Now it complicated the aftermath of the altercation because I started laughing and walked away  lol (which greatly offended the person). 5 hours later over food and drinks, a resolution was achieved and that statement popped in my mind. Life has so many interesting moments.

Hello,hello,HELLO Blog world =D!!!

I apologize if I sound extra eager right now, I just created this blog, so my adolescence is peeking out a little. (So bear with me or…..stop reading) I have not decided what this blog will consist of, but I will inform you as soon as I know. This blog with created out of pure pressure and curiosity, a beloved childhood friend suggest that I do something new. So in closing I’ll leave you with a quote I stumbled across while reading this morning….

A poet’s autobiography is his poetry. Anything else is just a footnote.
Yevgeny Yevtushenko

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